.The Isaiah 58 in Me.

Isaiah 58 details an account of God's people crying out to Him... basically telling the God of all creation how He should respond to their "sacrifice."

‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?’
(Verse 3)

God then responds to their cry by informing them that their "sacrifice" is not sufficient. Their expectations of what God requires is so menial, while their expectations of His provisions is so incredibly lofty.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?
(Verse 5)

This is where I have found myself for about a month now: Crying to my Father, "do you not recognize what I have given up for Your sake? When are you going to come through for me?

How arrogant! I have essentially scoffed at all the amazing things God has done in my life, because He chose not to meet my expectations for a court date!

Me: God, I need $30 k for an adoption...
God: Done. (still waiting with confidence for about $4k)

Me: God, I need my social worker to act swiftly on my behalf.
God: Done. (completed 1 day after our final meeting... unprecedented)

Me: God, I need... (a million little details)
God: Done. Done. Done. Done. (you get the point)

Me: God, I need a court date by the end of October.
God: That's not My timing.
Me: How dare You.

How dare me. God, forgive me for questioning Your timing. You are perfect, I am flawed, and I submit myself, once again, to Your plan... It is right!

Now, on to fulfilling the rest of the Text:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains
of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed
free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the
hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when
you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from
your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like
the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your
righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will
be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing
finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf
of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your
light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the
noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your
needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose
waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and
will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer
of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. “If you keep
your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you
please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the
LORD’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going
your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle
words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause
you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on
the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Give me the strength Father!

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.Ashamed.

I have begun reading The Hole in Our Gospel. Let's just say, I didn't make it through the introduction without crying and running to the office next to mine reading quotes. How have been a Believer this long and just now realize I have been missing the point?

Honestly, I am pretty ashamed of myself. Who grows up in a Christan home, receives a Christian eduction, grows up in a church that cares only about Truth, attends a great Bible college, serves in ministry for years and somehow misses the point? Who? Me.

One of the huge recurring themes in my life is my pride... I grew up in a world where meeting external standards were most of what matters. People say don't drink, don't chew, don't go with girls that do... it was more like "don't show evidence of sin (even if you need help), dress right and sing hymns, judge all by what you can see."

Yesterday, in the midst of a conversation with a woman who is watching her grandchildren grow up, desperately desiring their salvation, while dealing with the reality that the Truth is not coming from her children, tell me, "My children rejected church because I gave them legalism." I didn't know what to say, ummm, gulp. Yeah you're right... or it'll all be okay? Nope. The answer? Be changed, and tell them all about what God is doing in you. Then, trust Him. Ouch. I know, not the promise it'll all be okay. Tough words to hear... but the Truth is, God is the only One sufficient to make all the wrongs right again. His transformation is all that matters.

So back to my shame... Today, I cling to the reality that I am so foolish, so limited, and I need to be transparent and transformed by Him. Because, while I am ashamed of me... "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." ~Romans 1:16

God, change me... You, not rules is what this world needs.

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