This week for Wedded Wednesday, we are answering:
Any thoughts on transparency in marriage? I am finding with the age of computers, email, texting and twitter so much of what we do is now "hidden" from each other if we are not careful.
What a great, funny question. Basically the idea that the more we can open our lives to exposure, the more we can hide. It makes sense. In a world where a person can have a thousand friends on Facebook, several hundred of whom they have never met, can follow hundreds of people through twitter and even send them private messages via their cell phone, it is no wonder why this might come up.
In a simpler time, it was easy to hide who you really were to the general public. Even ten years ago, it was relatively easy to go through life without even thinking about what it means to "guard your public image." That kind of thing was reserved for presidential candidates and Michael Jordan. Now we all think about it. When chat rooms were all the rage, I used to say I never met a fat unattractive person in one. However, you could never escape the reality of humans that know the "real you" (one of whom being your spouse.) Now that is less and less true. The "real you" is more and more subjective.
Before I digress into some media tirade of how it should be, or could be or whatever... let me start here:
In Genesis 2 We enter the end of Adam's naming the animals God had just created, when all the sudden he realizes he got shorted. There's a bull and a cow, there's a boy butterfly and girl butterfly, there's a boy dolphin and a girl dolphin... wait a minute!
So God swoops in, puts Adam to sleep, takes his rib and makes woman... and there we have the foundation of marriage. One man, one woman. Then there is this interesting little verse:
"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:25 NKJV)
Fast forward through the fall, God comes down and begins questioning Adam and Eve:
"Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” (Genesis 3:9–11 NKJV)
Okay, bare with me. (pun intended) What is happening is that God created us to be completely exposed to one other being. In fact, there was no other human that walked the earth with Adam and Eve during this time. It was not until they were clothed that they began to bear children. I believe this nakedness refers to more than clothing. I believe that a person can infer from the context that there is a fundamental knowledge that goes along with that nakedness.
Let me put it this way. Marriage functioning biblically should look like this: All of who you are, your mind, your body, your emotions, are to be naked before your spouse. They should know and understand all of what makes you up. And the converse is also true: You should know all of who they are. Then, as a function of grace, you should be wholly accepted and you should completely accept your spouse.
This means in a world full of twitter, facebook, email, text messages, and a laundry list of other social media paradigms, we must fight the urge to hide anything! We must intentionally open ourselves to our spouse. We must stand naked before our mate, anticipating that they do the same, and embrace their uniqueness, while helping each other in the journey of picking up the pieces of our brokenness and striving more for godliness.
click here to see my wife's response.